Red The Explorer&The Mummy Hand Of Repetitive Doom
by Vampireknight86
Summary: AU. Parody of several differnet movie's who's lead rolls are usually guys. I decided to make our fave couple the heroes for a change. Rated T may be M later. If Anybody can guess every movie I make fun of in this story I will write a story of their requst


Author :Vampireknight86

Rating: T for some extreme wickedness some language and serious smoochies.

Uber setting: Indiana Jones, the Librarian, the Mummy and some Sherlock Holmes elements. Comedy/adventure lil' drama.

Description: Willow becomes the librarian and during her second assignment in the jungles of Peru and the Valley of the kings, she is assigned a bodyguard, She figures on a tough strongly built guy with more muscles than brains, but does a doubletake when she meets a blonde, blue eyed bodyguard of the female persuasion. Wonder who that could be?

Feedback, Ideas, suggestions and notes of love and encouragement can be sent to: .

Note: I mean no offense to anyone named Beth I had to name the chick something, also no ownership claimed on x-men,lord of the rings, indy jones, the librarian, Joss whedons Btvs, or anything else that is made fun of or discussed in this fiction type book thingy.

The Adventures of Red The Explorer and The Mummy Hand of Repetitive Doom

A cave dank, dark and a little smelly I am guiding tourists AKA a bunch of mis-informed half wits through a cave tunnel that leads to a tomb, actually the most sought after tomb of treasure in the once thought fabled Harmonioptra, Only I figured out it's cordinats using three kinds of math, I thought Myan calculous was bad, Aztec geometry was easier but Atlantian quantum physics was the real bitch!

Where was I again? Oh, yes I am guiding the baffoons through the cave tunnels effortlessly I dodge booby traps and poisonous projectiles,with cat like stealth I face each oncoming danger, Then we swing one by one over a vat of boiling hot two thousand degree magma,

" Whats Magma?'' One of the baffoons asks.

" Lava.'' I retort like the experianced explorer I am, then I find something even I have trouble getting past the pit vipers, any other snake but vipers and I would've been fine then all of a sudden the walls move to close in around us I am now running like one of the bafoons I had just been guiding , then a face I see a beautiful face in the dark sapphire eyes glowing at me leading me to safety, the blue-eyed goddess guides me out of the tombs to the outside I breathe a sigh of relief then she shows me our mode of transportation a HORSE! I start to panick I wanna run, whats that annoying Sound WILLOW!, it's getting louder could it be the tomb gods are they angered at our attempt to trespass.

" Willow Danielle Rosenburg!''

I snap out of it here I stand in an imitation tomb of the fabled lands in the University museum of New York State, It's the curator yelling at me. '' Yeah, here Mr. Idleouser whatcha need?'' I jump down from the two-foot platform and walk to the aging man with a bald head and horn-rimmed glasses and an impatient streak that would rival Fred Flintstone's.

" Your funding has been cut, I'm sorry but we have no more room here for you.''

He begins to walk away but I tag beside him. '' What! Just like that isn't there another way give me time I'll find proofs there was a valley of the queens and Harmonioptra. Please Mr. Idleouser I just need time.''

" I'm sorry Willow we've used all the time we can, My advice to you take your twent-five degrees and find a job, I hear McDonalds is hiring.'' He smarted before walking off. " Theres no room in the historical society of today for young women who believe in fairy tales.'' He said more to himself but I heard him clearly since not everyone needs a hearing aid the size of Cleveland to hear.

Leaving me to stand alone in my thoughts depressively I shoved my hands in my jeans pockets and walked away. Mother won't be pleased with this. I thought to myself as I rode the bus home to good ol' suburbia I walked up to the old house and unlocked the door the living room is dark, '' Anybody home, I call out as I go to head for the kitchen I am accosted from everywhere with the word I hate most in the english language. SUPRISE!!! a bunch of over eager relatives and moms Mahjong buddies a bunch busy bodied old ladies too old for wal+mart greeters and too young for the geriatric home they belonged in.

" Happy birthday Mashugana.'' That's my mother walking over to me she hugs me I sigh inwardly I don't want to party with the family tonight at all. '' So you're thirty today, any big plans maybe I don't know get a job, rent an apartment, bring home some nice Jewish girl to meet your mother before she's in the ground turnin' up daisies?!'' She stated flatly hands on her hips for effect.

" I..Uhh..''

" Ahh, twenty five degrees an entire fortune in schooling and you can't even come up with a good excuse in front your mother Oigh vi..I tell ya' why don't you enjoy the party dear there's someone I'd you to meet anyway.'' Sheila stated as she walked Willow over to a nice looking woman with dark curly hair.

" Denise this is my daughter Willow, Willow this is my friend Jane's daughter Denise she's a member of your all girls club too dear.'' My mother said bluntly. That was my mother blunt, sarcastic and all with the motherly advice and meddling in my love life, I didn't need a girlfriend right now that was just another headache to add to an already pulsating migrain from the days events plus I didn't have the energy it took to flirt with anybody right now.

Willow's eyes went wider than UFO's and she blushed the color of her hair, '' Mother!''

" Right I'll leave you two lesbians alone now.'' Sheila excused herself but Willow gave chase.

" Mother get back here you tried to set me up?''

" Well somebody has to I like to see you entertaining more than a book darling before I'm dead. Come on dear you can't tell you're not more than just a little lonely living with your mother.''

" I'm perfectly happy with my life I have my research and school and if I want to go out with someone I'll pick the someone mom.''

Sensing something more going on than just her daughter being irritated at her trying to set her up, she saw a look of disapointment and loss in her daughters green eyes, Sheila put her hands on her daughters cheeks and looked at her in a motherly searching way, '' Something happened to you today didn't it, Willow lowered her head and allowed one tear to drop her mother wiped it away quickly. What is it darling you can tell me you know.''

" I lost all my funding today mom, and all I wanted to do when I got home was go up to my room and..''

" And surround yourself with all your books and maps and math charts and computers to isolate yourself further from the rest of the world, well too bad life gives you lemons you drink tequila. Sheila half joked which caused the red-head to laugh under her breath, Now lets get back to the party theres nothing you can do about any of it tonight right?''

" Yes, you're right mom.''

*************************

Two days later Willow sat on the floor in her bedroom surrounded by well what her mother had said had been a pretty accurate description she realised, as she looked around the room books shelves packed to the brim to the point of almost tipping with the knowledge their shelves held, " Heh,'' Willow mused like my brain some days she was setting there on her floor with a book open on her lap. Suddenly startled out of her thoughts by a knock on the door causing her to hit her head on one such book shelf as she stood, '' Yeah, come in,'' she replied rubbing her head.

" How are you today..?'' Sheila was positively excited until she tripped on a stack of books and Pi charts and fell face first to the floor.

" Mom!, are you okay?'' Willow asked helping the woman up and back to her feet.

" Yes I'm fine I forget I have to bring my sea legs to swim through this room, it really would be good if you had an apartment you've got so many books you wouldn't have to buy furniture you could make a sofa out of them all.'' the woman commented patting her hip where it had met with the ground.

" So you've come to harang me into moving out, well I'm not in the mood today mom.''

" You're never in the mood for being teased dear, and actually I came to show you this..'' Sheila handed her a newspaper with a cirlced want ad.

" X-ray technician wanted, thanks mom I'll think about it.'' Willow replied with less than an enthusiastic tone.

" You'll never live if you don't try something new once in a while and like it or not most everybody has to work, we're not all blessed with twenty five degrees either most of us have to choose one job for the rest of our lives. Sheila responded then sensing the irritation of her daughter, Well I have to get going the PFLAG ladies won't start without me, there is this lovely girl Ja..'''

" Mom.'' Willow whined.

" Alright, nevermind be a spinster for all your poor mother cares.'' Sheila stated over dramaticall before exiting the room leaving Willow once again alone in her thoughts. '' I'll never have any grandchildren.'' Sheila muttered under her walking out of the messy room.

Willow walked over to a desk chair and put the paper down and let out an exagerated breath, '' Lab tech I bet I could run that hospital with everyhting I know about medicine nope I'm afraid thats just not challenging enough for me mom, nice try though. '' Then she noticed something shimmer out of the corner of her eye she discarded the newspaper and found a small white envelope and carefully but quickly opened it. She pulled out a piece of plain white paper completely blank then watched in amasement as the paper filled in with gold letters magically, she turned the paper over and back a few times, '' How the frilly heck did that happen?'' A question her scientific mind didn't ask outloud or silently too often.

You have been selected for an interview at The NEW YORK MUSEUM Of Natural History June 11th 1:30 p.m. this message will self destruct five minutes after reading!

Willow rolled her eyes and chuckled, '' Yeah right, sure any minute this piece of paper is going to burst into..FLAMES!!'' the red-head exclaimed as the paper did just that right in her palm as she frantically tossed it into a nearby trash can and poored an old cup of coffee onto it. Stepping back and blowing on her palm to cool the burning sensation, '' Okay now I will go to that interview if only to find out how they do that.'' she thought outloud.

*********************************

Setting: Next day aproximately 12:52 p.m.

Location: outside steps of the New York natural history museum.

Willow stood looking up the steps to the large double wooden doors they were classic renaisance copies, she was dressed sharp in a pair of faded jeans, tan suede dress jacket with a white button shirt to pull it together she took a deep breath and started her way up the long aged concrete steps that led up to her destination point. she was halfway up the steps and to the majestic looking doors when she noticed someone else dressed up and looking out of place their eyes met and as if on-cue both took off running. With everything she had in her Willow lept and bounded over steps taking some two at a time until she reached the inside hall way and came to another staircase spiraled victorian style she quickly noted. while running up them the other person had taken a longer way up but amazingly enough both reached the top in record time however it was Willow who reached first she turned to grin smugly at the well dressed man then back around to have her ego completely taken away as she noticed the extremely long line that started at the top of the stairs and went clear two more feet to a large hallway with a large set of double doors.

Willow tried to wait but she really had no patience for lines or waiting for that matter. She hurried around the crowd cutting between people hearing them mutter and curse to themselves until she made her way to the top of the very last flight of steps.

" Excuse me sir you can't, you can't do that.'' A bumbling male voice said in a very British tone. Willow turned to her left to see the face the voice came from a tall aging man with short brownish hair that had lines of grey running through it.

" Who me? Willow pointed to herself, I'm not a sir!'' she stated agitatedly.

" Oh, I see, My apologies Ma'am, the aged man corrected, but I'm afraid you'll have to go to the end of the line and wait your turn.''

" No, I have an appointment for 1:30. Here this is the only proof I have, Willow took the charred note pieces out of her blazer pocket in a small zip-lock baggie, it sorta went all poofy and flame-y on me.''

The man held the baggie up and looked upon it with dissapointment. '' Yes, quite, he muttered under his breath, Well then right this way. '' he opened the large doors and a new hall appeared the walls along it lined with ancient texts, scrolls paintings and statues.

" What is this place?'' Willow's mind tried to comprehend everything it was taking in at once.

" This young lady is a Museum.''

" And who are you?'' Willow asked politely with the slightest bit of curiosity.

" I am Rupert Giles I'm the curator of this museum, the question is really more who are you?''

" I'm Willow Rosenburg.'' Willow replied mock saluting the proper man behind his back sarcastically.

" Please don't do that near the, the ming vauses Willow.'' The man stated without even turning.

" I wasn't doing anything.'' The red head covered knowing full well she was busted.

" Right well here we are, take a seat and Joyce will be with you in a moment. Good luck and don't stare directly at any of the statues, Willow went to ask a question but was waved off, just trust me, it's better if you don't.''

" O-kay,'' Willow breathed as she entered a large office room with book shelves she couldn't resist looking at the old collection.

" Ahem, a female voice said loudly enough to startle the red-head causing her to drop the copy of Darwins theory she'd been reading. Put that back in it's place and have a seat, if you think you can do that without damaging museum property.''

Willow did what she was told and walked over to the desk held out her hand and smiled, '' Willow Rosenburg I'm here for...''

" Yes, I know, sit.'' the woman cut her off.

Willow was totally suprised by the womans cold manner as she took her seat she allowed her smile to fade.

" I'm Joyce Summers I'm the assistant director of this library, What makes you think you can be the librarian?'' The woman asked, Willow looked at her figuring out what to say and the right way to say it without leading right into a babble-fest. Joyce was an older woman mid-late forties she'd guessed with blonde hair that slightly curled in places in a power suit only femminine with a skirt instead of slacks and no tie.

" I have a resume here and twenty five degrees, five of them masters, plus four diplomas my proffesors wouldn't let me go any further they said they'd run out of classes.'' the red head laughed at her own joke Joyce didn't even crack a smile.

" No, I don't care about that, I want you to tell me something that no one so far today or any other has been able to tell me.'' Joyce asked in a voice Willow could only describe as passionate but agitated.

" Alright, Willow nodded,you were born in 1959, you have a himalayan grey cat, Joyce listened to Willows findings she had the unfortunate timing to be taking a drink of her coffee when the red head said the next line, you're sleeping with Giles and you drive a VW Bug the 1960's model, not the 2000 model.''

Joyce could only stare slack jawed at the red headed young woman for a moment.

" Are you alright Ma'am you're not going to faint are you?'' Willow asked with concern but a sly grin made it's way across her face, 'thats whatcha get for asking' she thought to herself.

" I most certainly am not, Giles, Joyce called out, the man walked graciously into the room, show miss Rosenburg around she's hired tell everyone else to go home.''

" Yes de-miss Summers right on it.'' With that the man scurried out of the room to do as he was ordered with the rest of the obviously unsuited potential librarians.

After he was out of the room Willow turned her attentions back to Joyce.

" How did you know about...'' Joyce pointed a finger between herself and where Giles had gone to looking puzzled.

" Oh, well when he first mentioned your name his face just lit up like christmas lights, then when he showed me into your office you both exchanged a soundless good luck I love you's, you just thought I didn't see it.'' Willow smirked.

" And everything else??'' the older woman asked curiously.

" Elementary my dear Watson, your car keys are on the desk and the company that made them hasn't been in buisness since around 1971, you have two cat hairs on your blazer that are blue-grey and that picture on your desk of you with a cat was also kind of a give away. In the picture you're wearing a sweater that says class of 76 if you graduated high school in '76 you would have been born in '58.''

Joyce stared blankly trying to process for a moment took a long drink of coffee. '' Oh, and you've got alcohol in that cup not coffee, no one ever drinks hot coffee that fast.'' Willow added seeing how far she could go.

" Giles will show you everything and explain your job to you, from this moment on you're on thirty days probationary test period, of you fail to meet with the requirements of your job in that time you will be terminated welcome to the museum..and no more analyzing whats in this mug..are we clear.''

Willow was taken aback at the words terminated in normal circumstances this would not have bothered her, but nothing about this interview or these people was normal. " Absolutely, although..''

" Ahem, Giles walked back into the room and cleared his throat pointedly seeing Joyce going bug eyed once more. Right this way miss Rosenburg.'' With that he walked to the bookcase built into the wall.

" Uhmm..she told me not to go near that and ruin anything else.. aren't you supposed to be showing me around the rest of the building?''

" I am, miss Rosenburg this is your new job as librarian you'll be spending most of your time behind these walls.''

" You're going to put me in the bookcase??'' Now Willow was bug eyed.

Giles snickered under his breath and pulled a book half off the shelf of the center bookcase. Willow watched with amasement as the shelves moved and revealed another room secret from the rest. '' After you miss Rosenburg.'' Giles gestured with his hands for the red-head to go first.

" Call me Willow, miss Rosenburg is just so bleh-y.'' she said as she took an unsure but curious step forward and walked into the larger room which was filled with archived artifacts unlike any collection she'd ever seen and that was saying alot with 25 degrees, 5 masters and 3 diplomas plus graduating from highschool at the age of 16.

" As you wish mis-Willow. You are the new librarian you'll be called upon to leave the library on occasion to..retrieve artifacts that could..fall into the wrong hands and cause..''

Giles had no time to finish as he saw the newly appointed librarian staring in wide eyed almost child-like wonder at a box labled Pandora. He inwardly panicked it physically manifested itself as he put a hand over his stomach and walked toward the red-head. '' You shouldn't open that.''

" Yeah, yeah Pandora's box this is an almost exact copy of the description in the...'' Willow went to lift the lid and Giles shut it just as fast.

" Oh, dear I seem to have alot to explain I haven't had to do this in twelve years forgive my thinking you'd understand. You see that's no replica and you opening well..we all know how splendidly that turned out for Pandora don't we.''

" Uhmm, I think I might be missing something here, Willow furrowed a brow in thought, that whole Pandora's box thing is just a fairy story, granted a scary, gloomy, not something you'd read to kids fairy story but one none the less.''

" No actually that is Pandora's box and like it or not you've been hired to help keep this and everything else in these walls a secret.''

'' Ahuh.'' Willow nodded a might sarcastically she couldn't help it she was being told things she was taught to think of as a theory or myth. Right now the red heads brain was doing battle between her 25 degrees and her science fiction liking side. the science fiction side finally won and she allowed Giles to start the grand tour if nothing else it'd satisfy her raging curiosity at what else the room had to hold.

Suddenly she was pulled from her deep thought as the British man talked on almost oblivious to everything going on and on about random facts, when something poked her in the rear. '' Ow!''

Giles turned quickly to see the culprit a lonely floating sword, '' Alright you back in the rock for thirty minutes, go on with you.'' he ordered in a fatherly tone. '' Are you alright thats just ex-...''

" Excaliber I know the sword in the stone, knights of the round table, all that.'' Willow piped still rubbing her assaulted hip she walked over to the sword only to have it come out of the rock and point it's tip at Giles as though a spitelfull teenager sticking it's tongue out at him then back into the rock it went. " It's real, she gasped, it defies logic Giles, oh, can I call you Giles?''

" You most certainly can, and don't worry about Joyce shes a mean ol' bird at first but she'll warm up to you.'' Giles reassured with a small smile.

" I hope she doesn't warm up to me as much as she did to you.'' Willow said in a low voice so as not to be heard.

" I as well Willow.'' Giles replied grinning having heard what she smarted.

" And this!'' Willow said happily walking over to a table, this is the Arc of the Covenent, unbelievable how did you replicate it to this detail?''

" It's not a replica how many times do I have to tell you everything in this blasted place is real.'' Giles stated becoming slightly irritated.

" I know, Willow smirked wickedly, I was just testing to see how far I could go before you shouted something British at me.'' she chuckled.

" Oh, yes very mature Willow, The older man responded taking his glasses off and giving them a thorough cleaning then placing them back on their perch at the center of his nose. All these artifacts and their location are to remain within the employs of the library no one else must know of this understand.''

" Yes sir, Willow nodded. So when do I start?''

" Tomorrow come here at eight a.m. sharp.''

" Okay, just one more thing,'' Willow said stopping just as they rounded the corner and exited through the hidden doorway.

" And that would be Willow?''

" Uh, when you say come here did you mean the museum itself or the room with all the artifacts I want to look at?'' She asked excitedly.

Giles shook his head and rolled his eyes, '' The earth is doomed, here as in this office and wait for me, don't stare at the Medusa statue you'll turn to stone instantly.''

" Okay, and gotcha, see ya' tomorrow.'' Willow waved as she walked out of the room and made her way out of the building a funny mix of excitement and nerves fluttered in her belly.

********************************

Willow walked through the door of her mothers house later that evening. " So how'd it go? did you get the x-ray job..you know theres a girl that works at the..''

" Mom, we agreed no more setting me up, and I did get a job today, Willow said perkily taking a bottle of beer out of the refridgerator and having a quick drink of it as she shut the door to the appliance she watched her mother chopping salad at the counter near the sink, Aren't you going to ask me where.''

Sheila stopped chopping red peppers and turned around wiping her hands on her kitchen apron, '' Alright I'll play where? after sixteen years of school and twenty five degrees where is my genius daughter going to be working?''

" I got a job as a librarian for the New York Museum of Natural history mom.'' Willow said excitedly looking at her mother with a wide smile as though this news should make her as happy.

" Oh, thats good dear congratulations.'' was all the reply Sheila could muster with an exhausted sigh.

Willow suddenly remembered that her mother didn't and couldn't know just how exciting this job would be. '' It's alot more exciting than you'd think mom. Need help with dinner?''

" No!, Sheila said quickly, I remember the last time you tried to help, you practically stabbed yourself in the arm while burning your right hand simultaniously.''

" Oh, Willow blushed and lowered her head, right well then I'm just gonna go get changed and grab a shower mom.''

" Alright dear dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes, honestly when are you going to bring home a girl who I can share the family recipes with?''

" I'll be down in about twenty minutes mom.'' Willow replied ignoring the question completely and heading up the stairs.

Sheila stood hands on her hips and staring where her daughter had just been with the slightest bit of amusement mixed with irritation that her daughter wouldn't even try to have a relationship with anyone friends or otherwise. '' That girl I swear she's as stubborn as her father was, Then she looked up, Oh, Ira darling send her someone who'll put up with her ways, then she looked back down a thought came to her and she looked up once more, let her be funny, she repeated the process of raising her head and lowering it as the things came to her one by one,'' Jewish and please let her be able to do more in the kitchen than just boil water in the microwave. I think. I'm done oh and one more.'' she held up a finger,'' make her pretty for Willows sake and the family photographers aswell, the last girl she brought home looked like the doctor slapped her mother for having her then hit her over the head with an ugly stick. I know it's bad karma but it's true Ira. Goodnight dear.'' Sheila smiled and went about finishing dinner.

******************************

The next morning 7:30 New York Museum. To say that Willow was pumped wouldn't have been an exageration she was thirty minutes early it wasn't until she had driven her seldom used car and parked it in the Museum's employ parking garage that she'd come to that realisation and not wanting to look like a complete dork she sat on the steps outside waiting for the doors to be opened, in her worn look bleached jeans burgundy dyed velvet blazer and black ruffled button shirt with her hair in small curls. Willow sat pondering what her first day would bring and her dreams were becoming more real the ones of the caves and the blue-eyed blonde mystery girl to be exact, the one she'd had last had made her wish it was the first one instead of the twenty-first.

" Who are you?''

" Follow me, trust me Willow.'' A soft voice urged.

" H-how do you know my name?'' the red-head asked with suprise.

" I know all about you, I love you Willow you know me.'' The blonde said as they walked along a corridor in a cave not the same one from the other dreams but a new and totally seperate one. " Willow stop thinking and just feel. You'll find your way.'' The beautiful blue-eyed woman told her with a chuckle.

Willow felt drawn to the beauty before her and leaned forward closer to her until there was little more than breath seperating the two. '' How's this for feeling and not thinking?''

" G-good, now kiss m-me Willow.'' Willow swallowed hard it wasn't a question it was an order her blonde goddess wanted to be kissed and by the gods she'd be kissed. Willows lips claimed the the ruby reds of the other woman with a passion neither one of them had ever felt before when they parted and the red head opened her eyes they weren't in a cave any longer but instead they stood in a lush field outside a Myan temple palm trees surrounded it the clearing they stood in was the only one she could see. The blonde finally caught her breath from the heated kiss and took the first move she lept into Willow's arms causing both women to topple to the soft grass below them Willow rolled over so she was on top of the blonde who held her close pressing their bodies together in an intimate embrace.

" Willow. Willow, WILLOW!'' the voice was loud and it sounded all through her snapping her back to realty.

Willow realised immediately that she had fallen asleep waiting for Giles or someone to let her into the building. She stood and secured her shoulder bag containing her laptop,different colored pens and a handy dandy notebook in case there was some freak accident and she had to resort to using paper instead of a computer. " Miss Rosenburg are you quite alright?''

" Me..uh..uhmm..yeah fine, finey Mcfine fine, Willow responded she'd already started to babble. Why?''

" Well you seem a bit flushed and you're babbling on like someone who just got ensnared in a trap.'' Giles explained his reason for concern.

" Oh, that I uh..sunburn easily thats all and you know with the decreasing oxygen band around the earth and the ultra-violet light from the sun beaming down here completely unfiltered, the green house effect must be..''

Giles looked slack jawed at the red headed young woman going on and on he had to do something to shut her up and quickly or she'd die from not breathing, '' Yes the greenhouse effect how silly of me..right this way. Giles guided Willow to the employ entrance and unlocked the door. '' Would you like something to drink before we get started on your first assignment I can make a lovely cup of tea or coffee if you prefer I think we have some..decaf in the back.'' he added pointedly.

" No I already had like three cups before I got here this morning..I'm a little wired.''

" Really, Giles cleared his throat fighting back a chuckle taking off his glasses and givingthem vigorous polishing before resetting them on his nose, Hadn't noticed, well then perhaps you would like to know what your first assignment is..''

" Mhmm..I would actually. Does it involve espionage, world travel, color coded folders and profiles of baddies, ooh, maybe I have to be traained to use a weapon or..or '' Willow couldn't stop her mind had been racing about this almost as much as it had been about the mysterious blonde woman in her dreams.

The red-head look at the the older man expectantly, '' No, Giles shook his head, you're just flying to Cairo to pick up and guard a few scrolls and..a book.'' He answered simply.

Willow went from beaming to less than excited in ten seconds flat. Then she thought for a moment and lit up once more. '' What book are we talking about here Giles? And no talking around it like you did with the statue the other day I could have turned to stone you should have said it was a Medusa effigy or atleast yelled out don't look at the evil snake lady. But thats..Willow gestured with her hands, I'm going off topic again what book is it?''

" Oh, nothing terribly exciting I'm afraid, Just the Egyptian book of the Dead is all.'' The older man responded simply.

" What do you mean oh, nothing at all just the once fabeld, long lost, theorized to not even exist among higher minds Egyptian book of the Dead which if you believe the stories actually contains the names of all the dead Pharoahs and queens with a nifty resurrection spell designed to make whomever you choose come back from the dead. That book?''

" The very same yes, Giles replied taking a drink of his tea then looked at his watch almost spit the tea out, You're plane leaves in thirty minutes I'll get you your tickets I'll expect you back by the end of the day.''

" Giles I don't know if you've flown in awhile but one can't just go flying half way across the world then come back in the same day.'' Willow rationalised.

" Actually in our company jet you can the tickets are just a formality for a new comer, present this to the man at terminal sixteen and three quarters. Our limo will take you to the airport you needn't worry about figuring out which one.''

Willow took the tickets and then thought for a moment, '' There's no terminal sixteen and three-quarters..''

" Oh, stop questioning and just do as I say, now you'd best be going if you expect to make it bakc by tonight. Good luck and if you run into any trouble page me with this.'' Giles handed her a small round ball looking object Willow looked at it strangely before realising it was a shrunken head then almost dropped it from being completely grossed out.

" Are you crazy that's a shrunken head Giles!''

" Yes how observant of you, The man said drolly, it's how Shaman used to communicate with each other it operates like a walkie talkie.''

" Giles this is the twenty-first century if I need you I'll use my cellphone.'' Willow stated as though that were the only means of communication that ever existed.

" They don't have many cell phone towers where your going my dear now you're wasting time put that away in your pack and be off with you.''

" Yes Sir.'' Willow saluted and marched out of the building and there was a limo waiting at the end of the steps for her. She got in and the large vehicle took off rather quickly for the red heads taste.

She was shocked that only moments later she was at the JFK international airport, she read the paper over and over again there was no gate terminal sixteen and three quarters, the man had to have been playing a trick on her like some sort of college hazing for your first day as the Librarian. Willow looked between gates sixteen and seventeen then something appeared out of place there was a small door between the gates. She raised a brow and walked toward the door opened it and walked inside. '' Hello, anybody there I'm Willow Rosenburg the new Librarian over at..''

" The New York Museum yes I know, Will that be your only luggage?'' A tall, dark and handsome looking man asked politely dressed in a blue captains uniform.

" Yes, This bag is all that goes on the plane..well and me of course.''

The man smiled graciously, '' Of course ma'am my names Angel I'll be your pilot for your missions, you'll probably be seeing alot of me. May I take your bag?''

" No, I can carry it, thanks.''

" Not a problem it's my job, well this way to your chariot in the sky ma'lady.'' He said standing aside to reveal another door which was the terminal itself and walked on board the large jet, it was elaborately set-up with a large sofa, table, even a mini fridge.

" Wow this is an awesome piece of machinery you've got here Angel. I don't suppose you have wireless routers on board, cause that'd be just, well of you had that I might just have to move out of my mothers house and start living here.'' Willow winced having given that information out so quickly to a perfect stranger, it was embarassing enough telling people she knew she still lived at home.

" You live with your mother?'' Angel asked with a raised eyebrow.

" Oh, did I say that, well actually technically..uhmm..yes.'' Willow admitted not being the best liar on earth or even in her group of friends. '' It's only temporary, should we get going?''

" Yes we should you're welcome to set in the co-pilots chair if you'd like while I get her started, although it wouldn't really be suited for someone as pretty as you. If I may be so bold?''

" I'm gay!'' Willow blurted out in a panick.

" Excuse me?''

" Gay, member of the Muff Divers Club, outta the closet before I was outta diapers, boo..''

" Willow calm down, Angel said wide eyed at the words coming out of the red-heads babble, I don't like nervous passengers, I got it the offer's still good though I would never have assumed you were straight, I'm married.''

" It's okay, and if it's all the same to you I think I'll take a raincheck on the co-pilots seat thing, I'm a bit of a clutz I don't want to crash you're plane.''

" Oh, I see well I wouldn't worry too much theres not alot that can bring Fang here down.'' Angel laughed and headed for the pilots cabin.

*************************

Six hours and one not so smoothe landing later Willow was well on her way to being half done with her first assigment. She made arrangements to meet the captain back at the airport in two hours. The red head was getting ready to hail a taxi when something buzzed in her bag, She searched frantically for the culprit buzzer and was once again brought to the edge of tossing her cookies which she had to admit weren't too bad for pre-packaged, it was the shrunken head phone, '' Ugh, She stuck her tongue out gagging as she pushed the right earlobe, Hello, I thought I told you never to call me on this thing Giles.''

" One I am not Giles and two that is an ancient communicative device you're having dry heaves on.'' A serious voice bellered on the other end.

Willow jumped at the yelling woman realising immediately who it was." Oh, it's you Joyce.'' calming down she rolled her eyes.

" Yes it is Sherlock, I'm calling to tell you not to take regular transportation, there should be a car already there waiting, He'll have a sign that reads '' Love grows where my Rosemary goes and.. you have to finish the chorus.''

" Giles said there wouldn't be any secret codes, cool, I'm on it thanks Joyce bye.''

" Do you know the line?''

" And nobody knows like me.'' Willow responded in a sing song voice.

" Very well my work is done have a safe trip and don't lose anything.'' Joyce ordered curtly hanging up the head-phone causing a loud buzzing in Willows ear.

The red head winced and held the shrunken head away from her ear, quickly shoving it back into her bag, '' Okay so I'm looking for a local person or am I looking for a secret agent-y type with a black uniform and FBI sunglasses, no thats the X-files you're thinking of wait theres a sign. Willow paused to look at the sign then nodded at the man holding it he was wearing baggy fitting jeans and t-shirt from the band Wheezer he was tall and nerdy with BLONDE HAIR! and PASTY WHITE SKIN! now Willow was curious.

Apparently the young man noticed and sighed, '' My dad works for the musuem here and he has ties with..some people I just run cabs for some of them on summer vacation.''

" Right certain people, Willow smirked knowing that she was now one of those people. And nobody knows like meee.'' she sung out of key as the young man winced.

" Okay I got it you're one of those people, right this way I'm Andrew btw and I'll be your chauffer for the duration of your stay here in Gotham city.'' He joked then snorted at his own joke.

" Uhmm, alright, Willow responded 'he's a big nerd like me.' she thought to herself. I hope the Joker won't be along to cause any undue hi-jinks this day Alfred.'' She joked back getting into the backseat of the car.

" Well if he does I'm sure you can pull something out of your sleeve master..''

" Oh, uh..Willow nice to meet you.'' She leaned a hand over to the front seat for him to shake.

" Right master Willow I was expecting a man, so you're the new librarian huh, thats cool you must be tough like an Amazon or somethin' huh?''

'' Nope, just a big nerd with twenty-five college degrees and had to get a job because she lost all her funding.'' Willow replied.

" Funding for what? Something cool I hope like Alien research or the Rosswell theory.''

'' Again with the nope, I was leading research in finding Harmoni-optra and the valley of the Queens.'' Willow answered.

" What the lost city of treasures and totally flamin hot lady mummies?''

" The very same although I'm not sure you could call a three thousand years old mummified corpse flamin' hot, but yeah actually I was looking for something other than treasure, an artifact the Mummy hand of repetitive doom.''

" Why, to repeat a moment in your life you feel was your destiny.'' Andrew said in narrative dramatic voice.

" Uh uh I need to find my house keys, if I go back to two years ago and find where my hamster went off to.'' Willow explained with enthusiasm as though it were greater than all the gold in the world.

" Oh, well good luck with that, look here we are The Cairo Museum of repetitive boredom.'' he slouched in his seat to wait for Willow to do what she had to inside.

" Museums may be musty and dusty but they are not boring just to prove it to you you're coming with me to get what I have to get.''

" If it's all the same to you I'd rather watch Dragon Ball GT on my Ipod in the car.''

" That's not a good enough excuse, Willow stood up out of the car and opened the drivers side door and grabbed Andrew by the collar of his shirt and yanked the young nerd out of the vehicle.

" Ouch!, hey you almost caused me to drop my Ipod.''

" Oh, my gods is it alright, Willow took the blue tinted device and scanned it over, This is one the new Iphones not an Ipod what kind of nerd are you anyway first the hating of history and now the misunderstanding of critical new technology if I didn't know any better I'd say you were a fake.''

" Shut up! Andrew whined in a less than masculine girly-girl voice, I am so a nerd it's just if you say the word Iphone you'll either be mugged by a group of big muscular menly men ooh, he shivered from excitement?, or the locals start bowing to you like you hold the key to megmorphs fort.''

" Actually I do hold the key to megmorphs fort I'm a level thirty-two sorceress in the online game...''

" Rebel magiks, Andrew finished, I'm only a level eighteen sorcerer, you're the coolest librarian I've met, of course I've only met one other and she didn't talk much she was always barking orders at me, before that there was a guy but I didn't know him. So do I atleast get to see something cool on this the journey of musty artifact finding.''

" There are so many cool things in a museum you could be in there for days and not come across the same thing twice, Willow stated as they entered the old building inside it was very well kept the wood staircases gleemed with polish and the smell of the collective knowledge stored there was intoxicating to Willow. They came to a wall of Neo-lithic man and Willow pointed to something, See like this, this was once thought to be a tool used in some sort of building method but actually it was a toothbrush..uh..which explains why cavemen had such terrible teeth. Andrew looked at her un-amased and shook his head, Right moving on, oh I know see here this staff is said to have belonged to king Tut himself don't touch it though theres supposed to be a curse upon it.'' Willow explained as she watched the young man read everything about it.

" You're right that is cool to think you could put a curse on something for three thousand years, so what happened to the guy who discovered it, he lived to be ninety and died of old age right?'' Andrew asked skeptically.

" No, actually he died a year after discovering it from a snake bite much in the same way that King Tut met his end, Willow grinned having had one over on him the whole time he reasoned the curse, Now if you want to go back to the car and wait I'll only be a few moments.''

" Thanks, you know where I'll be if you need a ride somewhere, later.'' With that the young nerd exited the building to wait in the car.

Willow just shook her head, '' Nerds these days have no sense of history, science and technology yes but mention the word history and they scatter like rats in a maze, haha, I made a joke.'' The red-headed woman said to herself as she walked over to the front desk,

" Can I help you ma'am?'' The secretary asked.

" Yes, I'm Willow Rosenburg here to see Curator..she pulled a card from her jacket pocket, Frankenstein (Fronk-in-shteen) about some scrolls.''

" Oh, yes you must be the new librarian! the secretary jumped up from her post at the desk and walked Willow toward the back room, Now that I think of it Giles did mention about a red-headed genius woman, but we've been terribly busy lately what with the new display of Queen Cleopatra opening in a week an' all, she explained in a south african accent, She lead Willow to a large catalogging room and pointed straight ahead, That way the first door on the right you should find him there lost in some ancient artifact, good luck with your assignment.''

" Thanks, for the help and the good wishes and everything.'' Willow replied the woman nodded and headed back where she was needed. Willow wondered down the long corridor in the catalogging room and met with a door right in the head knocking her backwards into a large but unstable bookcase causing it to fall and like a chain reaction she watched as the bookcases all fell one by one on top of each other, the red-head was now also red faced as she winced at the thudding of the last of the tall stacks. Then she turned to come face to face with a short white headed man with dark-rimmed glasses in a lab coat the same color of his hair although not as frizzy.

" What a Mishivah! I'm sure compared to you the rest of the plagues were a delight, Can I help you..oh, dear it's going to take weeks to re-organize all this..look at this mess! just look at it!'' He said in a testy voice.

" Yes sir, Willow stood up so straight she was sure she'd grown an inch from the intimadating mans bellering. I see it, I'm totally..hey wait no I'm not if you would've been looking where you were going this wouldn't have happened in the first place you knocked me into those shelves which I might add need to be in a computer database for safe keeping and those shelves replaced or bolted to the floor!'' she retorted nervously ' I finally babbled with a purpose, cool!' she thought to herself.

" Uhmm..well..this will all have to be recatalogged, what did you say you were here for?'' He changed the subject to avoid being blamed any further.

" I'm Willow Rosenburg here to collect some artifacts for the New York Museum of Natural History.''

" Oh, of course you're the new librarian, My God has that Summers woman lost her mind hiring another woman and a klutz like you none the less, oigh vi, He hung his head and shook it, well right this way. I was given instructions to put them in a metal suitcase with a combination lock, the combination to be set by you, He explained in a little less mean but still irritated manner, Willow shrugged it off it was probably his way she figured. The white haired short tempered man opened the suitcase to allow Willow examination of the items inside it she nodded three scrolls and one book of the dead check, Here you are have a safe trip and when possible have someone else carry the thing god knows what would happen if you carried it all the way back there'd be nothing left, now I must be going show yourself out, he said and rudely left the red head standing there on her own she exhaled and making sure the locks were set and the numbers she set incrypted into the electronic keypad on the case and she was outta the building and back in the car moments later.

" Well where to now Willow?'' Andrew asked looking up from his Anime series.

Willow shook her head then looked at her watch which she had dutifully reset to egyption time, '' Any place around here to get a good meal?'' she asked.

" Depends are you talking local food or something a bit more suited for human digestion?''

" The last one I think.''

" Ah, Willy's place then he has the best pizza in all of Cairo. ''

" Right then, Willow nodded affirmatively, to this Willy's place then, step on it and I'll buy you something to eat too.''

" Off we go then, so did you get your stuff?''

" Yep, I sure did boy that curator is something of a bully isn't he?''

" Oh, Mr. Frankenstein, yeah he's a real Voldemort that guy, Andrew stated as he maneuvred the car down the crowded streets and marketplaces. Did you meet Valerry she's nice.''

" Oh, is that the secretary, Andrew nodded, Yeah, she is.'' Willow said distractedly as she took in the sites of the crowded city.

" We're here Willow.''

" Great I'm starved lets eat.'' Willow said exiting the car once more and stretching from the jet lag that had just started to set in on her.

************************************

Chapter two. This is where the trouble started!

Having said goodbye to Andrew and thanking him for the chauffering and cheat codes for three different levels of Final Fantasy twelve Willow was back at the airport waiting for Angel to arrive she was a few minutes early. She decided to wait by the plain since she was informed she'd have to board the plane by way of steps and not a terminal from here she was looking at the aircraft it was entirely black except for the front of it which had two white fangs painted on it then it dawned on her why he called it Fang, '' Oh, like a vampires fangs, I get it now that I see it!''

" Ah, I see you've figured out my clever name then, A man's voice said coming up behind the red-head and startling her slightly, Hello there Willow.''

" Hello..Willow turned, Angel.''

" So everything went according to plan?''

" Yep, all ready to fly away home now.''

" Well I'm just the man to see about flying home, please come aboard Angel Airlines where the pilots are not usually drunk, unless you get William when I'm off on vacation, then just make sure you hide the hard liquor away from him.'' The man joked his warning, as he opened the hatch door on the plane and secured the steps himself.

" I'll remember that, Willow strained her facial muscles, You aren't off on vacation much are you?''

" No, Angel shook his head, just on the holidays. I'm afraid you're stuck with William then, my wife would kill me if she thought for one second I wouldn't be home for Christmas, Joyce is quite a handfull when she dips into the wine.''

" Joyce!, Willow exclaimed, you mean she and you..are..''

" No!, Angel exclaimed with equal suprise, no I'm married to her daughter Buffy, she works for the library aswell I guess you could say it's a family calling, like they were chosen for it or something.''

" Ah, what does this Buffy girl do? Wait Buffy..Buffy..Willow thought, why does that name ring a bell?''

" It's not very common name I know, maybe you've met her somewhere else before although it is New York afterall not much chance of tha...''

" Highschool she and I went to the same highschool, I tutored her for all the good it did..'' Willow clamped a hand over her mouth to shut herself up, realising that she had just insulted the mans wife in his presence.

Angel laughed whole heartedly amused. '' It's okay Buffy's not the most book smart woman there ever was. I understand.''

" Oh, thank god I didn't really have anything to say to explain that one away.'' Willow sighed with relief.

" Well if you'll excuse me I'm gonna get Fang here off the ground and back to New York before dawn.'' Angel said making his way to the pilots cabin. Willow did her best to get comfortable but she was very tired and didn't sleep well on planes so she opted to type in her journal.

Captains log. 8:30 Cairo time. Stardate Tuesday, June tenth.

Location: The Fang (aircraft name, given by pilot with in-law issues.)

We kicked off at exactly nine this morning New York time and landed in Cairo airport (correcton almost landed inside Cairo airport due to slippery run way and turbulent landing.) Note to self : next time bring box of depends for when pilot Angel tries to pull risky maneuvers.I met with the cabbie he's a nice kid bit of a nerd but all the cool kids are, doesn't have one clue about history though so that makes him an evil nerd in my book. Can't even get past third level Lord of the Rings two towers game LOL. Met with the Museum curator he's a nervous, rude kinda guy if I didn't know I'd swear he wasn't happy about my taking that book from him, and he totally tried to blame all these unsecured shelves for fall one on top of the other I haven't seen that kinda chain reaction since Mom and Dad put me on that pony when I was six, It threw me off right into the cake and knocked over the table of presents into the punch bowl where the clown was standing, long story short the end of the table hit the clown right in the crotch and Mr. Smiles said alot of words that in my opinion sailors shouldn't hear let alone a group of sugared up six year olds they were all swearing by the time the parents got there lets just say thats why Xander is the only friend I have from my school years, his father was the only one who burst out laughing at the specticle. Any way, My pilot is clearly in a world of his own and doesn't speak much unless it's to explain something or state something obvious, wonder what he'd say if I told I could fly this plane since I do have two engineering degrees. Well after a rather interesting visit to a local pizza place called Willy's which attracts an interesting crowd of people Willy himself is a short annoying little man I mean not that I'm tall or anything, but I think compared to him I'm Godzilla. And now we're on our way back to the other side of the world, bed nice comfy bed I bet moms wondering how I'm doing or better yet where I'm at, bet she wouldn't think this job was a wash if I told her where I spent my day Lol. Well I think I'll close for now.

" Willow Rosenburg please report to the pilots cabin.'' Angel paiged over the intercom.

' O-okay, please don't let him hit on me again, no he's married and I don't really get that vibe off him anyways'. ''Coming!'' Willow made her way across the room and opened the door to the pilots cabin. " You wanted to see me Angel is something wrong are we going to crash, Oh, my god thats it isn't it and we've only got one parachute, I'm gonna die!, Willow panicked, I can see the headline now nerd dies alone on aircraft plummiting into..''

" Willow!, Angel laughed, again I tell you to calm down I was just going to ask you if you wanted to pilot this thing while I use the rest room, Willow gave him a bewildered look as if to ask how he knew she could, I was given your resume to brief me on the person I was to escort, I know you're a pilot yes and with two engineering degrees you should do fine, Now if you'll excuse the local food has a bit of a rental period and the lease just ran up.''

" Oh, well then I'll just take your seat now.'' Willow acknowledged calming as she did so.

Angel departed the room and left Willow in charge she sat down and steered the plane, '' Okay well I guess that answers question of what he'd say if I told him I could fly this plane, he'd hand it over to me while he took a bathroom session.'' As she maneuvered the plane through the air and over the ocean she took note of all the controls on the console and noticed atleast three new ones she'd never seen before as she went to push one of them Angel re-entered the cabin.

" Don't touch that Willow!'' He panicked grabbing the young womans hand.

Willow and Angel both looked down at their joined hands and quickly seperated them as Willow stood and moved to the co-pilots seat, '' What does it do? In fact what do all three of those buttons do?''

'' This plane was designed to protect the people traveling in it, that was emergency eject button, this one, he pointed to red button, is for the missiles, and this button here well thats for worst case senarios only it's a self destruct button. '' He explained pointing to the large green button at the end of the console.

Willow went wide eyed just exactly how many times has he had to use that one before? she pondered. '' Oh, sorry I'll make a mental note to never touch any of those three. Have you ever had to ya' know..use the self-destructo thingy before?''

" No, thats what the missiles are for they usually get rid of the threat before that happens. I didn't make you afraid or something just now did I?'' He asked in a concerned voice.

" What me afraid..Willow said incredulously, Maybe just a little, how long have you been doing this kind of work?''

" Too long, Angel replied tiredly, I started when I got out of the military I was a pilot at area fifty one after you've worked there you get used to living what if situations.''

" There is no area fifty-one it's all concocted by bigger nerds than me to explain away their issues for not leaving their houses or having girlfriends.'' Willow laughed Angel stayed stone cold serious.

" There is and let me tell you it's not what you think going on there, theres way more than even those virgin nerds know about.''

" Hey!, I resent that virgin comment, I'll have you know I just got out of a physical relationship with someone.''

'' Oh, yeah, Angel laughed teasingly, who your proffesor?''

" No actually with a girl named Beth.''

" Beth she sounds like the kinda girl who's got a few weight issues and an' ugly mug.'' He laughed.

" She was not fat..but actually she could have been a little better looking I guess. Not that I'm all shallow-y with the having to be miss super hottie for me to like you but..she was unfortunate in that department.'' Willow admitted.

" Ahh, I was right on count two atleast I still got the guessing a girl by her name thing down pat, even after five years of marriage.'' Angel said congratulating himself and mock patting himself on the back.

" Oh, and Buffy so much bettter, Willow teased back getting an annoyed look from the pilot, Yeah well with the looks but that girl can't manage a single sentence that doesn't involve something about a shopping mall.''

" Hey!...Angel started to retort but them looked clueless as to what to say back, actually thats a good point.'' he held up a finger and glanced at the red-head.

" Hah, I knew that. Yes score one for team geek.'' Willow patted herself on the back just as Angel had done only seconds before.

The pilot and the librarian spent the rest of the flight talking and bantering back and forth it was 2:00 A.M. before they landed Willow got off the plane and looked at her watch and the airport clock quickly resetting it and walking along to the outside of the building glad to be home and on land once more, '' Hah, I told Giles that you couldn't go half around the world and back in the same day guess I win the bet.'' She walked outside and boarded the limo to go to the museum when her headphone started to talk, '' Hello, she answered.

" Yes, Willow is the case with you?'' Asked a mans voice this time Giles.

" Uhuh, I'm in the limo to the museum right now in fact.''

" Oh, good then I trust your first assignment went off without a hitch.''

" Yep, fine and dandy thats me, the pilot's nice poor guy has Joyce for a mother in-law though.'' Willow stated forgetting who she was talking to.

" Willow, need I remind you that I'm dating said bad in-law, or shall I just pretend that was never said and start over?'' He asked in a bemused but agitated voice.

Willow figure he wasn't sure wether to laugh or reach through the head phone and throttle her, wait could you do that with these?, she shook her head, '' Uhm, option B, please. I should be there in fifteen minutes if traffice is this good everywhere.''

" We'll be , and take the service entrance so as not to draw any un-necessary attention to yourself with the briefcase.''

With those orders given Giles hung up Willow shrugged, '' Sure Willow you flew over half the world twice today and you're extremely jet lagged, met with a horrible curator, made sure an ancient text of doom couldn't get into the wrong hands, please use servants entrance is the thanks I get.'' She rolled her eyes as the limo pulled up to the familiar building she didn't wait for the driver to open the door instead she got out on her own and made her way to the smaller door in the back alley.

" Ah, there you are you're one hour late, I'll just deduct that from your paycheck.'' Joyce stated matter of factly.

" Nice to see you too Joyce, now I have something on you to be all snide about too. I tutored your very blonde daughter in high school.''The red-head stated with a hint of sarcasm.

Joyce's face dropped as she eyed the red-headed genius closer, '' Oh, my goodness, you're that Willow Rosenburg.''

" The very same. So tell me after four years of math, history and science tutoring not to mention report help and SAT prep what did she dumber Summers do with her life besides marry my pilot who by the way had the nicest things to say about you.'' She embelished smirking a bit at the last comment, 'maybe I'm not such a bad liar afterall' the new librarian thought to herself.

" Uh..uhmm...she's a nurse.''

" Oh, really for people?'' Willow asked a bit sarastically.

" Pets actually..she uh..couldn't pass the test for humans.'' Joyce admitted and left the room without another word.

" Well perhaps we can set to catalogging the book of the dead, that is if you're quite through giving Ms. Summers what for.'' Giles stated curtly as he showed Willow to the entrance of the secret room and they both walked into the cathedral size room.

" I've been in this room twice already and it still ceases to amase me everytime.'' Willow commented as she once more ran her eyes over the room, from ceiling to floor shelf to shelf, '' So can I have a peek at the book?''

'' Well I don't suppose theres any harm in that, uhm..just be mindfull not to read any of the inscriptions aloud, we don't need a plague of locusts invading the museum.'' Giles replied adjusting his glasses.

" Right, no locust-y plagues or reading aloud-er- I mean outloud, I think your British speak is contagious Giles.'' Willow said correcting herself.

Giles let out a small chuckle as he and Willow opened the case that contained the three lost scrolls and the Book of the Dead. '' Wow, this is so awesome, look at these..Willow said opening one of the scrolls her eyes immediately went wide as flying saucers, Giles!'' she yelled snapping the man out of the ancient book to look over at the red-head.

" Yes, What is it?''

" This scroll it's a map to..Harmoni-optra, it does exist I knew it, eat that Mr. Idleouser hah, three years of research and six grants were not actually the 'waste of time' you said it was I wish I could stick this in his snide wrinkled old face that..I'm rambling to myself..outloud..aren't I?''

" Indeed, Giles nodded with a confused look on his face as he moved behind the librarian to get a better look at the so-called map and then he gasped at the site, Oh, my.''

" I take it this is something you weren't expecting for your collection either?'' Willow asked simply.

" No, can't say as we were, but it's here, so we have to display it with everything else I'll put it in a display case with the maps to Treasure Island and Atlantis.'' He sighed.

Willow on the other hand was more blown away about the other two maps than by this one now, '' Did you just say you have the maps to the second most fabled Island in all of history, and the map to the location of one of the greatest lost civilization's in the world!, and you didn't think it was important to share this information?''

" You didn't ask, now if you'll excuse I have some catalogging and putting away to do. You may go home now. Giles said simply and just as Willow was heading for the doors he turned to look at her, congratulations on your first assignment Ms. Rosenburg you did well.'' he stated in a fatherly tone.

Willow smiled and nodded. '' Thank you Giles, but no more Ms. Rosenburg's okay?'' Giles nodded and she left. 'I wonder what the next day will bring?' she though to herself as she drove home and got into bed.

*****************************

CHAPTER THREE. It's the apocalypse who's your accomplass?

At the very same time that night across the large city at the Museum something very evil was afoot. A guard lye on the floor in front of the bookcases that protected the secret rooms unconscious. And three masked figures made their way through the stacks in the darkened building with large flashlights.

" Okay so it was supposed to come in today William said, they in a case already, everything is in alphabetical order so we should be able to find it easily.'' A female voice explained.

" Yeah, whatever lady lets just get this book thingy and get outta here or we could stay and bust some heads whatever you feel like.'' Another female voice said this one sounding decidedly more butchy and tough.

" Oh, you're so babaric Faith, how did I ever get partnered up with you?''

" Because I'm the first person who answered the singles add.''

" Oh, right, I forgot.'' The more feminine voice responded.

" Hey lady, is this your book over here?'' the butchy evil woman's voice called out.

The femmy fem fem tip toed and skampered over to where scary butch lady stood and shined her light on a case. '' Oooh, thats it right there!'' the girly voice squealed.

" Thats the second time you've screamed that today.'' The tougher woman added playfully.

Which got her an annoyed head nod. '' Just get the book thingy.''

" It's not just a book thingy babe this our ticket to fortune and fame and triple queen size bed you've been wanting to try out.'' The tough woman hinted suggestively.

" Ooh, I love when talk spicy to me in the middle of a robbery, The woman squealed again, kiss me?''

" Again the second I've heard those words today.'' The butchy woman replied the leaned in and raised her mask to reveal only lips as the other woman did the very same and they kissed briefly.

" Alright lets bust this thing and get outta here.'' The girly girl said. As they both re-adjusted their masks and the tough woman busted the glass and grabbed the book just as an alarm sounded.

" Shoot! the alarm system, you didn't say there'd be an alarm system!''

" Well duh this is a highly secretive operation they have the most advanced alarm systems in the world at their disposal.'' The tough woman replied lamely.

" You know you're a big pain in the ass sometimes.''

" Screw that lets get outta here we can argue and have make up lovin' later.''

" O-okay.''

The two criminals slipped out of the builing before the police arrived.

****************************

7:00 A.m. next morning Willow awoke to a loud beeping noise and immediatley smacked the alarm button on her clock and rolled over then her cell phone rang, with a grumble she reached out for the device and ended up reaching too far falling to the floor right on her rear, '' Hello.'' She answered

" Hey Will, what was that thud I just heard are you alright?''

" Huh, oh that yeah I'm fine, just fell out of bed, whats up Xander?''

" I was just about to ask you the same question Will I haven't seen you in a while.''

" Thats because you moved to California with onion.''

" Anya, and that's not funny anymore.''

" It's still funny to me, Willow added standing up in her boxers and tank top and going to get dressed as she talked to the man. So to what do I owe the pleasure of this call? did you and on-Anya break up?'' She asked a bit enthusiastically.

" No, oni-Anya and I didn't break up, oh hold on a sec Will..''

" Okay,'' Willow replied, 'gives me time to find my pants' she thought to herself.

" Anya says to tell you I'm hers and you can't have me.'' Xander told her matter of factly as though being coached.

Willow just rolled her eyes and chuckled. '' Have you told her I'm still gay, and I don't want you anyway you're a slob Xander Harris.'' She teased.

" Yes I've told her, but she doesn't believe you.''

" Tell her I asked if she had a sister,She asked outloud still amused then in a lower voice to herself, '' God help us if she does.''

" She believes you now.'' Xander answered laughingly.

" Good, well I suppose theres no better time than the present. I got a job Xander.''

" No, kidding well hey I gotta fly back to the city this month I'll buy you a beer, Anya yelled something in-audible into the phone at Xander and he shrieked like a girl, Okay, okay geez, Anya says you owe me a beer since you're getting a paycheck now.''

" Well as much as I dislike Anya she's got a point so you wanna go out with me for a beer sometime stranger?'' Willow asked jokingly as she struggled with her thermal sweater pulling it over her head and the phone at the same time.

" The answers always yes with my f-second favorite girl in the world Will and congratulations on the job, is it something cool after all that time at college and all those papers I had to be present for you recieving?''

" I'm a librarian, The man sighed on the other end of the line, Willow smirked and shook her head, it's actually more exciting work than you'd think. So what did you call me for? not that you need a reason cause hey my best buddy but I just figure with the long distance and everything it would be something you know special and with cell..''

" Willow you're babbling, I called to tell you I'm getting married to oni-Anya god you've got me saying it now.'' he groaned Willow laughed.

" What can I say the name fits, Congratulations to you too Xander I mean it, and I guess now I owe ya' two beers.''

" Cool, hey if I tell ya' she's pregnant will I get three on the house?'' He asked jokingly, '' Oww,''

" Xander Harris you tell her that I am not getting pregnant I'll get stretch marks on my beautiful body.'' Anya shrieked this time her words were clear and all Willow could do was bite her lip to try and supress the laughter building up inside her. '' Now ask her the question you oaf you're running up our phone bill.'' she ordered her fiance.

" Oh, Will will you be my best man?'' he asked the red-head.

" Of course, when is this blessed event and where?''

" You'll have to fly out here for it and it's in december you've got some time,'' the man was interupted, '' okay yes love you too dear bye.''

" Is the coast clear Xander?'' Willow asked bemused.

" Yeah, as I was going to say, she wanted you as a bridesmaid but as soon as I saw the horrible dress I volunteered you for the position of best man, which works out because I don't have hardly any male friends.'' He admitted suddenly a little saddened by this statement.

" Sure Xander and I guess I have to up it to three beers since you saved me from pastel hell,..Willow was interupted as her head phone buzzed from her pack, I gotta go late for work talk to ya' later Xander.''

She hung up before the man could say his goodbyes, '' Wow demanding job ya' got there Will.'' He said to himself before hanging up his phone.

Willow walked over to her desk and with squinted face she reached in and pulled out the shrunken head, '' Hello Giles.''

" Hello Willow I know it's a bit early but we need you here A.S.A.P.'' He said in a rushed voice.

" I'm on my way.'' Willow responded sensing there was something wrong in the way the man spoke. usually he spoke in a slow calm voice this more it was quick and worried and very un-British tone.

She threw on a denim jacket over her grey thermal sweater and grabbed her bag bending over to tie her vans shoes before running down the stairs going for a mad dash out the door when she was stopped by Sheila.

" Whoa, whoa, whoa, wheres there fire?''

" Nothing..I mean theres no fire, I'm just going to be late for work.'' Willow hesitated.

" Ah, well you can atleast have a bagel and some coffee first with your aging mother. Who loves you and wants you to not pass out today at your new job.'' Sheila said insistently.

Willow grabbed half a bagel and bit into it as quickly as she could poured some coffee into a portable lidded mug kissed her mother on the cheek, '' By mom, see ya' later.'' With that she rushed out the door.

Moments later she arrived at the Museum and ran up the stairs to the servants entrance and unlocked the door walking over to the small passage and into the large hidden artifact room without a problem she strolled over to where Joyce, Giles and another man were standing and discussing something along the wall, '' Hey, whats the emergency, don't tell me somebody stole the book and it's the end of the world if we don't get it back?'' She joked.

Giles looked positively suprised, '' Actually yes here are your tickets and here is your assignment.'' He stated handing Willow a folder.

" oh, okay, do you know who did it?''

" No, I suspect an egyptian group that worships the old ways and wishes to restore them in this century, possibly resurrect King..oh, I dread saying his name, King Amadoula.''

" King who now? Willow asked cluelessly, I don't think I 've ever heard of him.''

" Of course you haven't, Giles replied walking to a bookcase and removing an old text from one of the middle shelves he opened it and found the page he wanted. Here you are, the best kept secret of ancient times.''

Willow put on her reading glasses and took the book to further examine it. '' King Amadoula was actually of Assyrian descent he conquered Egypt with the help of strong magiks and seduced..Queen HArmoni-optra..which led to a viscious blood war between King Amadoula and the rightfull owner of the throne Prince Alladina, the two kingdoms fought until their armies were mere handfuls each too weak in numbers to fight they forged a secret truce and formulated a plan, they ambushed King Amadoula in his chamber and two women his servants and magical advisors performed a protection spell for the armies and a mirror spell to trap him within his own magik realm, his soul can be revived however.. Theres a page missing Giles how can his soul be revived?''

" If they go to Harmoni-optra they can re-awaken him, theres said to be a chamber for each one of his bodyparts they have to gather them in the sacred chamber and perform a sacrifice to resurrect his soul from the underworld. If they already have the book they won't need the map, the book itself is a guide through the sands.''

" Alright I've got a plane to catch Angel didn't even have time to miss me.'' Willow said hurredly shoving the papers Giles had given her into her shoulder bag.

" Ah, wait just a moment, they have the book, you need the map. Giles handed her the map, they have to start the ceremony before they even reach the destination, It's likely when you arrive back in Cairo, that there will be danger around every corner..''

He was interrupted by a down to buisness looking Joyce, '' here are you're passwords for the assigned driver and the one for the tour guide that will help you through the dessert, We have assigned a bodyguard to you, one of our most trusted. Worked with us for sixteen years, thats as long as it took you to get out of school isn't it Ms. Rosenburg?'' Joyce asked trying to sound less catty than she did.

" Well then this person must be as good at their job as I am at mine with all that experiance.'' Willow responded non-chalantly with a smirk.

" Right well good luck on the mission if they've already started the ritual the ten plagues of Egypt will be unleashed upon what was that buzzing sound?'' Joyce asked annoyed something interrupted her speach of superiority.

" I think it was a locust.'' Willow said Giles, Joyce and the librarian walked over to a large window in Joyce's office only to see nothing but a thick crust of locusts on the glass outside the building. " I think I need to be going now!''

" Yes I would say so, oh you're bodyguads name is Mac.'' Joyce yelled out to the already off and running red-head.

" Bodyguards name Mac, catch flight with Angel, save world from biblical plagues gotcha and check.'' Willow recited outloud as she ran down the stairs and out the door the limo was of course waiting but covered in locusts.

" I'm sorry miss I can't go anywhere with all these insects on my windshield.''

" It's cool, I'm taking my car, in a hurry see ya' bye.'' With that the woman headed for the underground parking and got to her bug free car. Getting in, fastening her seatbelt she reversed then hit forward and sped off to the airport and terminal six-teen and three quarters.

It was as she had suspected complete mayhem downtown she did her best to take ally ways and shortcuts as she drove with the windows down and a can of off in her left hand spraying it at the oncoming insects as she drove. '' Well this isn't so bad unless I accidently inhale the Off I should be okay.'' Willow said to herself honking her horn as she made her way through traffic when she hit it.

She looked completely out her window and groaned inwardly as she saw the line of backed up cars. Willow was not getting anywhere by vehicle. She got out of the car and started off on foot.

********************

Meanwhile in the Congo a familiar pair of thieves make their way off a cruiseship.

" Well we're here in Cairo. Now what do we do Faith?''

'' Oh, man CC we're in the Congo, you bought the wrong tickets...again, now we have to get a flight out to Egypt and hop a tour bus to the sifting sands. Next time you're reading the incantations and I'm making the travel arrangements.'' Faith stated as she looked around for a travel agency.

" Fine, Ugh, oh..ewww..Faith you walked me right into horse doody all over my Gucci Heels.''

" It's not my fault you're crappy shoes stepped in crap.''

" Well we don't all walk around in camo pants and biker boots from the eighties. I am the fashion conscious side of you, and when we re-awaken the mummy and rule the world everyone is going to dress like me.'' Cordelia stated giddily.

" Oh, no I'm not ruling a kingdom of high maintenance whiners just forget it, now lets see if we can get a flight and you read the incantations for the second part of the spell.'' The tough woman ordered.

*********************************

Back in NYC Willow took a bike from a mailman and has just arrived at the airport she runs in the bug covered door. Running to the terminal and through the door into the plane.

" Ah, I see you made it Willow.'' Angel greeted with a smile.

" Yeah, thats me, just made it girl, lets get Fang in the air and pray those locusts can't fly thirty-two thousand feet shall we.'' Willow stated breathlessly leaning over and putting her hands on her knees for leverage.

" Won't matter we just had the plane coated in an herbal insecticide. We shouldn't be dealing with too many of the 'little buggers' as Giles called them.''

" Oh, good cause I hate bugs Angel, really alot.'' Willow explained as she sat back on the couch in the office part of the plane.

Angel grinned at this, '' Well I hope you don't have a fear of toads because they should be next if my biblical history is correct which if it's not don't tell my mother.''

" No, I won't tell your mother I sw-did you just say TOADS!'' Willow went wide eyed and began breathing heavier again.

'' Yes, why?''

" Oh, no reason, she lied and shook her head, I just think I took the wrong job.''

" Well I'm gonna go get Fang off the ground you're welcome to join me as always Will.'' Angel smiled trying to hold back an obvious chuckle of amusement at the womans fears and phobia's.

Three hours later in record time no less because of all the grounded planes and lack of air-traffic. They touched the ground in Cairo and Willow and Angel got off the plane to find the place just as Giles had described it in total caious. People were running through the streets and bugs were flying everywhere then Willows worst fear came to life as two toads jumped right at her making her scream. Angel calmly removed the pests and put one hand over Willows which she was using to cover her head, He removed her hand from her head and forced her to look, '' It's okay I got the toads now we have to get you to..where?'' He asked with a raised brow.

" Ah, Willow paused, let me look in here at the here we go my map, We have to meet Mac at the Cairo museum. I love the place I hate the dude running it.''

" Well then I suggest we get there quickly to avoid the next plague.''

" Oh, right the water turning to blood I remembered that one I'm not so weirded out by that one, sure it's gross, but the reign of toads and plague of locusts was way worse.'' Willow rambled as they made their way to the cabbie Andrew was waiting with a can of insect repellent.

" Hey Willow whats the line?'' Andrew asked pointing to his sign.

'' You know who I am, do I really have to sing that?''

" Joyce said to make sure you knew the line or else I can't allow transport.'' Andrew replied boredly.

" Of course she did it's not my fault that her daughter's an idiot and had to repeat her senior year. Then Willow glanced over at an offended looking Angel glaring right at her. " Again..with the sorry. she winced, I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump'n'grind.'' she tried her best at singing it to no avail.

Angel laughed and Andrew snickered opening the cab door for Willow and Angel to slide in. '' Alright Andrew back to the museum and really step on it.''

" You got it Willow, buckle up I don't mind creaming toads but I'm not into killing humans.''

" Kay, Willow replied as she and Angel buckled. So you're coming with us now?''

" Yeah, I was in the army remember I know how to survive and what kind of a name is Mac anyway what is he a truck?''

" I picture him as a big, hairy seven foot tall guy but he could be one of those short guys with no-necks and huge muscles either way Joyce said he was the best they had so lets hope he's smart enough not to live up to his name.'' Willow babbled.

" Yes lets.''

" We're here Willow, please I beg of you end these plagues before we get to the boils I already had to deal with acne in highschool don't make me live with a hideous boil scar too.'' Andrew begged and whined.

Willow and Angel exchange equal looks of bewilderment that a man could actually sound like a woman to this extent, '' Uh, we'll try you just keep it together sport.'' Angel said giving the young man a tap on the shoulder as he and Willow exited the cab and ran into the library. Hurriedly they both looked around at the seemingly deserted Museum.

" What now Will?'' Angel asked.

" I guess we wait. I don't know.''

" Y-y-you're e-early. W-we werent expecting you for a-another t-two hours.'' A womans voice said from behind the pair.

Willow was the first to turn around and almost fell over backwards if it wasn't for Angel catching her and helping her back to her feet that is, She saw the face of her dream girl staring right back at her, Just as she had seen in her dreams flowing blonde hair though now in reality it was tied back into a bun and she wore jeans and a black peasant top with moons and stars on it, Willow was breathless and not just from the nearfall. '' H-hi, I'm Willow Rosenburg or ah, let me look here I wrote it down in blue pen, the code for the car in red and the one for the tour guide in green,..here we go I'm sorry I have to do this.''

" I-it's o-okay you have to make sure I am w-who I-I say I a-am.''

" Alrighty, Oh, wait I need to ask Mac this question where is he?'' Willow asked cluelessly.

" Oh, I-I am Mac, you're question?'' The woman asked with a slight smile.

" Right, Willow nodded she was completely taken by suprise once more, 'Her bodyguard wasn't some muscle bound steroid freak, but rather a beatiful womanly, well woman person.' she thought to herself, o-kay, I don't want anybody els..what the hell Joyce has it in for me!, thats stupid alright Mac change in questioning I'm gonna name a song tell me the rest of the lyric because that last one is just too embarassing.''

" Uhm, alright.'' Mac replied with a supressed chuckle in her voice.

" Here it goes, Hey there Delilah.''

" Whats it like in New York City.'' Mac sang without one stutter in a beautiful voice the most beautiful Willow had ever heard in her life she was awwe struck once more, 'My gods that woman wasn't sent here to protect me she sent to kill me!' Willow thought.

" Well now that, we've got all that outta the way, perhaps we should get going to wherever it is we're going. Where are we going exactly for once I don't know?'' Angel stated rubbing the back of his neck.

" Oh, uhmm it's kinda top secret library stuff, but hey since you're coming with us, I suppose you should know, we're heading for Harmoni-optra.'' Willow rambled off quickly.

Angel stood stone faced processing what looked like alot of attempts at words. '' I th-think you bro-broke him?'' Mac said to Willow who was trying to figure out the mans half voiced sounds and make them into words.

" I'm not broken, Angel finally spoke a sensible phrase, I'm just uh,..''

" You're in shock!, Willow declared then in a smaller voice, it happens trust me I've only been on the job for three days and I'm still getting used to it all.''

" O-only three days, wow, you got here fast I thought the way you were dodging th-those fr-frogs you were more e-e-experianced.'' Mac stated then lowered her head 'way to go you never stutter like this anymore whats up Mclay?' She thought to herself.

Willow smiled at the compliment, '' I'm very resourceful for a new recruit.'' she responded.

" Ladies I hate to interrupt the chit-chat here but what is that smell?'' Angel inquired.

Willow and Mac both sniffed the air, '' Brimstone!'' They replied in unison. '' That means they've arrived here and started the incantations on the third spell.''

" W-we should g-go.'' Mac suggested hastily grabbing her travel bag which seemed to be very heavy looking and packed to the brim.

" Do you need some help with that ma'am?'' Angel asked politely. '' I'm a pilot for a private plane I'm used to carrying peoples luggage.''

" No, Mac smiled shyly, If you carry it I can't get to my weapons in time to do anything.'' 'Hey my stutter only happens when I talk to Willow, what the heck?' she thought to herself not seeming to notice the stunned faces looking at her.

'' Theres clothes and stuff in there too, right? I mean it's not all just weapons and killing things is it?'' Willow asked half curious, half afraid and half turned on. 'Great three halves I make a whole pie.' she thought to herself.

" N-no, all we-weapons.'' Mac answered, 'damn this girl is making me stutter again, pull yourself together Mclay, you promised yourself no more librarians.'

" O-okay, Angel said then they all noticed a large chunk of brimstone fall a little too close to the museum for comfort and they ran out the doors and to the cab. Angel grabbed Andrew and tossed him out of the drivers seat and into the back. Sorry kid but I'm way more experianced than you.''

" Oh, man I never get the cool assignments without something like this happening.'' The young man whined and slouched down in his seat.

Willow sat in the passenger seat upfront and began researching the internet, Mac settled in the backseat and began loading two six-shooters with ammo then fastening a holster around her waist she secured the guns in the two pockets on the holster. Then began loading an automatic rifle and strapping on a should harness for that one. Willow watched in the rearview mirror in disbelief she shook her head and went back to work on the computer.

Angel sped along he turned to Willow,'' So which way are we going exactly?'' he asked.

" To the docks my good man.'' The red-head replied then quickly went back to work.

" Willow!, Willow! oh, good god woman answer this bloody contraption now!'' A british male voice insisted.

" W-what is that?'' Mac asked.

" My headphone!, Willow said scrambling through her shoulder bag and retrieving her shrunken head pressing the left earlobe she spoke into it. What is it Giles do you know anything more about who it is that took the book?''

" I'm afraid we do we're looking for someone who works among us, an ex-secretary Cordelia Chase and her accomplass is still unknown, female but we have yet to establish her identity.''

" So you don't really know anything usefull yet huh Giles.'' Willow sympathetically.

" I'm afraid yes, he admitted, How are you faring on your journey?''

" Well Angel's here he's drinving Andrew's cab and thank for not informing me sooner my bodyguard was a nice looking woman and not some big hairy oaf.''

" Oh, right sorry well I'll let you go for now ring if you need..well just keep me informed.'' Giles said catching the error in his words, what she needed he didn't have at the present.

" 'Kay bye Giles,Willow said pushing the left temple of the shrunked head solemnly sighing. Angel looked at her expectantly, nothing, not one damn clue.'' She stated to everyone listening as she tucked her head-phone back in her shoulder bag.

" Well, Giles is smart, I-I'm sure he'll find something u-usefull.'' Mac said hopefully.

As they reached the docks.

Gasp as the evil power couple returns in chapter four,

Sigh as Mac and Willow become better aquainted,

Grip your seat with laughter as we find out Andrew has a fear motion and boats.

CHAPTER FOUR THE SAND THE SURF and where the frilly heck are we?

Willow, Mac, Andrew and Angel all boarded a large travel boat bound for The Island La isla Bonita, which was a once thought completely covered by the sifting sands that held the land of the Ancients in a thick blanket, Well actually they were headed for Karnak, which was about twenty miles west from La Isla Bonita, Or so Willow calculated from her foreign travel mileage estimator program, she wrote while on the flight with Angel.

" So why Mac did your dad want a boy?'' Willow asked from across the dining table they were all situated at as a group. Willow sat across from the blonde, Angel sat next to Mac and Andrew sat next to Willow.

" N-no, it's short for Mclay thats my last name, people started calling me that and the nickname s-stuck.'' Mac answered and took another bite of her spinach salad.

" Oh, well what's your first name?''

" Uhh..T-Tara,why?''the blonde curiously.

" I was just wandering, Willow replied simply, Wait how come people don't call you Tara?''

'Oh, gods my name sounds so good coming from her lips, no you're on a job Mclay a professional assignment, not a cruise ship for blind date of the apocalypse' Tara thought to herself, "I don't know I guess they like Mac better thats all.''

Willow furrowed her brow not satisfied with the answer, ' Who wouldn't say a beautiful name like Tara, over and over again, Tara, Oh, gods I like the sound of her name on my lips.'

" Well, I like it I'm going to call you Tara, if thats alright with you that is?'' The red head asked hoping that it would be okay.

Tara frowned a bit as she thought on this a moment, '' Uhm, I suppose that would be fine, Willow.''

" Cool, The red-head responded happily maybe a little too happy for her own liking at this point in time, I mean it's cool that it's cool with you that I can call you your real name and not just your work name, because your name is so pretty that I can't imagine who wouldn't want to call you that, I mean not that I think your name is pretty because it's your name, just that Tara is a pretty name and Mac is so Bleh, Tara looked suprised, I don't mean that it's a bad name it's when you have to choose between calling someone such a pretty name as Tara or a name like Mac it's a no-brainer which one you go with, because Mac makes me think of some overgrown hairy guy and...and..''

" Willow! stop it you're going to run out of breath!'' Tara ordered not realising that she had not only voiced her concern but reached out a hand across the table and put it comfortingly atop Willow's hand, '' I-I get it, you can s-stop explaining.''

" Oh, good.'' The red headed librarian replied catching her breath.

" I-in the future you don't have to e-explain a-anything unless I-I say explain or s-something like that, okay?'' Tara commented still she still had her hand on the top of Willows and neither woman seemed to notice.

Willow smiled, '' Okay Tara.'' it wasn't until they exchanged smiles of reassurance and made direct eye contact, that the librarian looked away and noticed Tara's hand on hers stroking the soft skin gently. Then Tara's eyes followed Willows and the minute she saw what her mind of it's own hand was doing yanked it away.

" I'm s-s-so s-sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm go-going to bed n-now.'' Tara said quickly standing up and rushing off down the narrow hallways to her room.

" Way to go there Will?'' Angel laughed taking another bite from his larger than life hamburger. '' You've really got a way wif ta dasies.''

" Huh, I've got a way with the daisies?''

Angel swallowed his food then spoke, '' No I said you've really got a way with the ladies.'' he repeated audibly this time wiping his mouth with a cloth napkin.

" Oh, that's very amusing coming from someone who's married to a girl that pronounces things one syllable at a time.'' Willow teased back.

" Point, Angel said holding up a finger, are you going to do something, because I'm not spending the rest of this trip with a confused, emotional woman who had more ammo strapped to her than the Army.''

" My turn to say point, I'm just gonna go talk to her..Willow said getting up from the table slowly, now.'' she squeaked and went down the hall and off to find Tara's room, 'It might be faster if I knew which room was hers' she thought.

******************************

Meanwhile somewhere near Karnak at a pyramid just like any other pyramid Faith and Cordelia sat in a circle of local workers were digging in the sand outside the pyramid.

" I don't get it?'' Cordelia wondered outloud.

" Don't get what this time?'' Faith grumbled.

" I don't get how it is that we're winning I mean the good should atleast be on our tales by now.''

" You, stop speaking they're gonna catch up.'' Faith said through grated teeth.

" How?''

" It's like the number one rule in an adventure movie the bad guys always say something like, I wonder where the good guys are and then poof there they are, Faith rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, I am so gonna kick this newbies ass whoever she is.''

" I don't know she could be all tough and butch...like you.'' Cordelia replied non-chalantly.

'' I am not butch, Faith growled, I'm tough leather girl, not butch just tough didn't you read the script, gods I'm working with an amature.'' She said throwing her hands up to the heavens in surrender.

" I'll have you know I am a playboy trained actress!'' Cordelia hollered.

" Oh, that part I knew, which is why I am not going to kill you..yet. Besides you're useful just not with thinking.'' Faith remarked with a wink, then a man in a robe came up to her and tapped her shoulder, she turned quickly to see a crane lifting a sarcophagus out of the hole in the ground. Whats up Rageeve?''

" We found the sarcophagae, and we're lifting them out now Faith.'' An epyption man with a think accent informed the dark brunette.

" Cool, that means that all we have to do now is say the final incantations and he'll wake then we'll go to the land of Harmoni-optra so he can resurrect his bride and while they're on their honeymoon we'll be swimming in money.''

" Filthy Rich.'' Cordelia added.

" Too rich walk we'll be carried everywhere we go and hot chicks in bakinis can hand feed me..uh..us grapes.'' Faith commented indulgently.

'' And hot women can massage my back with exotic oils...Faith gave Cordelia an evil eyed looked at the comment, You can watch, while you get that back wax you so desperately need.''

'' I'm not even going to acknoweledge that with a response, Ragi tell Mr. Idleouser to ready himself for the ceremony.''

Ragi nodded and quickly scurried off to the task at hand. Faith stood at the edge of the large presafice and held the book open in both hands the wind blew through her dark locks and her ruby red lipstick shown in the moonlight and cut,

" Oh, thank gods I'm supposed to be hot and bad not exploited.''

********************************

At the same time back in the boat, Willow finally found Tara's cabin but she had not yet made her presence known by knocking, instead she chickened out at the last minute and had been setting in the hall outside the young guardian's door Angel came walking along and paused when he saw the familiar form scrunched up in the small passage, her knees to her chest deep in contemplation.

" Hey red whatcha doin' in the hallway room too big?'' The man asked nicely and crouched down to her level.

" Oh, hey Angel I was just, I found Tara's room.'' Willow pointed to the door straight across from her.

" Ahuh, perhaps I'm mistaken because I'm just a pilot and not an uber genius like you, but isn't it customary to knock on the door, instead of setting in front of it like a creepy stalker type?'' Angel asked with amusement in his voice he knew Willow was into the blonde guardian, and who could blame her she was gorgeous he had to help his very shy new friend.

" Uh,,yeah, about the knocking I don't know if I should, what if she's asleep or wants to be alone, or she's really mad at me and..she's got lots of guns and I saw her arms earlier at the museum in that tank top thing with the straps, I think she can probably kill me a million different ways without breaking a nail.''

" Will, Angel said in a loud whisper, this stopped the red-head mid babble, he chuckled then said, You'll never know if you don't knock.''

" Yeah, I know, but what do I say Angel?''

" Well I've found that when I knock on doors and people answer them that hello usually works, or it's raining can I come in does in a pinch if you're trying to sco..get invited inside someones house to speak with them.'' Angel covered clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck nervously once more.

Willow grinned she heard his mistake cover-up and was amused. '' O-okay, she said standing and wiping her palms on her jeans, I'm gonna do it, knock I mean not any other it, I mean what other it could I possibly be doing and I'm going to shut up now.''

" Goodluck Will, see ya' when the boat comes ashore, I'm gonna go catch some shut eye assuming a big chunk of brimstone doesn't crashing through my ceiling while I'm..on second thought I might just read.'' Angel said with a yawn and gave Willow a reassuring shoulder squeeze before making his way down the corridor to his cabin.

Willow took a deep breath and let it go then mumbling words of self-incouragement readied her fist and knocked on the cabin door containing Tara Mclay sexy woman guardian, 'wait sexy where did that come from we're in the middle of an apocalypse and you're fantasizing about your bodyguard where is Whitney Houston to ask for advice when you need her?' Willow thought to herself. She was so engrossed in her own thoughts she didn't hear Tara call out.

Willow thought it odd that no-one had come to the door so she prepared to knock again when a beautiful face opened the door, '' I said it's open''. she stated with her head turned to the inside of the room not on the person standing in front of her.

" Hey, sorry I guess I didn't hear you for the music.'' Willow lied, but there was loud music coming from the room.

Tara turned her head to see the face and body attached to the sweet voice she'd heard speaking, she saw Willow the librarian, ' Oh, no big Mclay it's just the girl who's hand you held then dropped like hot steel and ran off without explanation, great now she's here at my room and, oh, gods how long have I been looking into her eyes?' Tara was frozen in place she realised when she tried to break free of the hold those green eyes had on hers. '' Oh, Willow it's you, she tried to act cool like nothing happened, 'you idiot something happened you can't just play it cool, talk to her she's nice and cute and kinda' quirky, halt all of you little voices in my head I'm taking over now' Tara shook her head to dust out the cobwebs, did you need something?''

" I was just wondering if..if..Willow searched then a thought hit her, if you would like to go and get a cup of coffee or tea or something from the cafe?''

'' Uhm..I guess as what is this a date?'' Tara asked.

" Huh, no..just me trying to be nice to a girl who has more ammo than the Russian military in her sleeping bag thats all.'' Willow said quickly.

" You're funny, Tara giggled then mentally slapped herself upside the head, 'way to go Mclay this is you not flirting with the girl you said you wouldn't flirt with, that you are now definately flirting with and oh, goddess her babble is contagious I can't turn it off!' the blonde thought to herself, just let me put on my shoes and I'll be ready.''

' Okay now what Rosenburg you've got this gorgeous guardian woman going out with you for coffee, whats your next move. ' Willow thought to herself. The walk to the cafe was quiet not because neither girl wanted to talk but because they didn't what to talk about.

Once they were seated and ordered Willow felt it was almost necessary at this point to say something to break the ice, being quiet this long was like some sort of inhuman torture for the red-head.

" So you're in the bodyguard business?'' Willow stated in question form, as soon as she'd said it she cringed internally, 'well duh, Rosenburg.'

But to Willows suprise this didn't bother Tara in the least, '' Yeah, I am and you're in the librarian buisness.'' She laughed.

Willow sighed 'Tara laugh is sexy, what the.. where did that come from?, she's your bodyguard for Pete sakes.' '' Yeah, she replied quickly before her thoughts took total control over her busy brain, so what do you study to become a bodyguard anyway?'' 'finally an intelligent question for the beautiful woman, wait scratch that just woman, Rosenburg.'

'' Oh, Tara was taken aback momentarily nobody had ever asked her that before, Tai quon do, Ju-jitsu, and three other types of martial arts that I forgot how to pronounce correctly.'' Willow laughed almost choking on her mocha as she did so. '' What do you study to be a librarian, I-I mean this kind of librarian I know what you study for the normal type.''

" Ah, Willow said taking another sip of her coffee and help up a finger, then as she thought on it looked puzzled herself, I don't know, I have twenty-five different degrees, I never asked what one it was that they were most impressed with, however when I interviewed Joyce had me tell her something about her no-one else knew.''

" Ahuh, Tara nodded then snickered to herself, w-what d-did you t-tell them?''

Willow grinned evilly, '' well you know Joyce Summers? Tara nodded and raised a brow, I told her the year she was born, what kinda cat she has and I figured out that she's 'involved' with..''

'' Mister Giles.'' Tara laughed amd smiled a crooked smile.

" Uhuh, how do you...how did you..?'' Willow was truly baffled as to how the blonde would've guessed this.

" I-it was kinda obvious after I caught them making out in the stacks.'' Tara replied then ducked her head so that Willow could not see the blush on her cheeks.

'' Oh!, I suppose that, yep that'd definately be obvious.'' Willow squeaked then she and Tara both laughed hard Willow reached out a hand to touch the back of Tara's hand.

'' I'm having a really good time.''

" Me too, Willow?''

'' Yeah?''

'' What are you doing w-with m-my hand?'' Tara asked curiously, 'my God is every librarian harboring desire for me? or are they just attracted to someone who could snap their neck with one finger.' she thought to herself.

" Oh, I uh, Willow frowned and immediately withdrew her hand, Tara I'm sorry, I just well..you did it to me earlier..and I thought that..you liked me, like,like, liked me..and I kinda like, like, liked you too, but if I..was wrong?''

'Willow babble that's so cute' Tara mused in her head, 'no that's wrong I shouldn't be thinking thoughts, just because she's thinking thoughts, I think we shouldn't be thinking these kinds of thoughts, wait, okay one Willow babble cute but contagious, two I think I like her and it has been over five years I should listen to Buffy and just start living again, okay Mclay be bold.'

" Willow I like you too.'' Tara said firmly, '' I just wasn't sure you...''

" Oh, I am, I do, I want to.'' Willow rambled off in a cluster happily smiling,

" Good, Tara nodded then missing the contact of Willow's hand on hers looked down at her lonely hand and whinpered slightly, do you think maybe you'd want to.''

" What?'' Willow asked missing the subtle signal.

" M-my hand.''

" Oh, Oh, right sure, Willow said happily claiming the hand in her palm this time, better?''

" Oh, yes.'' Tara breathed and smiled a half-grin.

" Good, glad to help, Willow replied happily the furrowed her brow, your hands are like ice.''

" I-it, happens when I g-get n-nervous, Tara explained, a-and I s-stutter too, but you probably knew th-that already.'' she said lowering her head.

Willow took one look at the self-deprecating body language and decided she didn't like it, shaking her head she took one of her hands away from the blondes and cupped her chin, '' Tara stop that, I think everything about you is beautiful even your stutter, and the cold hands well thats nothing a little Willow attention can't cure.'' she nodded determinedly.

Tara smiled a soft smile, '' Oh, Willow you're so sweet, e-everyone always made fun of my stutter, I figured you'd think it was u-unattractive.''

" Why would I think that? I'm not a tenth grade boy, besides it's getting better already, and I noticed that you only do it around me, did I make you nervous?'' Willow asked almost panicking at the thought of scaring this gorgeuos creature.

" Yes, but in a good way.'' Tara replied simply.

" Oh, thats good I guess, Willow smiled excitedly letting her tongue show through her teeth. So you can really break somebodie's neck without flexing your pinky finger huh?''

" Yes, so don't make me mad.'' Tara said in a serious voice but her smile let Willow know she was joking.

" Yes, ma'am, Willow replied with a mock salute, they both giggled at their silliness, it's getting late you want me to walk you back to your cabin?''

Tara beamed, '' Well um, actually since I'm the bodyguard, I thought maybe I could walk you back to yours.''

" Alright, my own personal hot bodyguard a girl could get used to this.'' Willow stated proudly as she and Tara stood from the table and exited the cafe.

The two made their way through the public area surrounded by small gift shops and bars and to Willows cabin never once breaking the contact of each others hands as they went.

" Well here it is good ol' cabin number one-twenty-three.'' Willow gestured at the door with her hands and lightly smacked them on her hips.

" I guess this is g-goodnight then?'' Tara said she was now down to a stutter every third sentence or so.

" Yeah, goodnight, Willow said the tension between them was immense, it could've been picked up on by NASA.

Same Time NASA headquarters.

" Sir I've picked up on something in the middle of the Mediterranian Sea.''

" Well what is it Johnson?''

'' Sir it appears to be physical tension between two women, wait I'm getting a visual, they're hot Sir.''

" Yes, Johnson, yes they are, but delete visual we're not supposed to use this technology for spying on people, so close it up and see if you can tell me who my wife is really taking Tennis lessons from.''

" Sir yes Sir.''

Back at the ship.

Tara was preparing to walk away from Willow's cabin door and back to her's feeling completely alone now, for some odd reason wishing she could-... Her thoughts were interrupted by Willow's voice.

" Tara?''

The blonde turned to face the owner of the cutest voice she'd ever heard speak, '' Yes, Willow.''

" Well I was thinking, you're supposed to be my bodyguard right?''

" Uh, y-yeah, yes.''

" I was just thinking wouldn't I be better protected if you stayed here with..me..in my..room.''

Tara furrowed her brows " What?, How do you mean?''

" Oh, sleep.. Willow said casually then seeing the blondes eyes bulge,not together!, She immediately corrected her sentence, just sleep, no funky sexy fun o-or anything like that.''

''Oh, I see.'' Tara breathed a sigh of relief she wasn't exactly ready for that kind of a date just yet.

" So do you..wanna stay with me Tara?'' Willow asked in a shaky voice, she didn't think it was possible to need someone like this, and on such short notice they'd only known each other one day.

" Oh, yes.'' Tara nodded enthusiastically.

Willow opened the door and gestured with her hands to let Tara go first, '' This way m'lady.'' Tara smiled and complied with the red-heads gesture entering the room.

'' It's, it's bigger than mine, Tara frowned and turned her head to face Willow, wait why is it bigger than mine?''

" I..I..don't know, I guess because I'm more important than...oh, boy, thats, not what I meant, maybe it was just a mistake, Willow reasoned though her mind wasn't really in the rational category at the moment. I have to admitt I was sorta puzzled as to why I got this particular room.''

" How so?''

" It's the 'Honeymoon' suite.'' Willow replied with honesty.

" Oh.'' Tara breathed then after an initial moment of tension in which neither girl spoke, the blonde let out a chuckle. Willow soon followed and they giggled together. '' For that interesting fact, I think I can forgive you for calling me the lesser colleague.''

" What, oh, good I'm glad.'' Willow perked inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. '' Well I think I'm gonna go change for bed now, I'll get you something to sleep in too, i-if you like that is?''

" Oh, yes that would be fine.'' Tara answered and graciously accepted the smoke blue t-shirt and boxers to match from the red-head.

" They should fit I think, because you're taller than me, but not really bigger.'' Willow said trying to not sound like an ass, Tara was bigger than her but not fat in any way she was in a word sexy as hell, 'wait thats not just one word mister narrator I think you need reading lessons' She though to herself.

" T-thank you whe-where do I-I change?'' Tara asked mentally cursing her nervous stutter.

" Oh, um..here, you can change here and I'll change in the bathroom.'' Willow answered and rushed into the afformentioned room.

A few minutes later and Willow was all finished changing without thinking she opened the door and walked in on Tara as she was putting her shirt on, '' Oh, gods I'm sorry.'' the red head stated over and over again with her back turned, a warm hand on her shoulder brought out of her apologies. 'Oh, wow she's gorgeous with no shirt on I bet she's even more....can't think naughty thoughts right now you're on a job, New job,first job,interesting job I like her alot, I mean it alot!

" Willow, Tara's sexy voice whispered without a stutter, it's alright I'm undressed now, I-i Mean undressed out of my clothes and into my other clothes. ''

Willow finally came out of her dizzying head babble/thought war. Long enough to realise that Tara had been speaking to her.

" Welcome back, how is Captain Kirk out there in space?'' Tara teased.

" Fine he's actu- Hey I caught that, thats not funny.'' The red head argued. Causing the blonde to erupt into a fit of laughter. " Why don't we get some sleep.'' Willow suggested tired herself from all the traveling back and forth.

" Alright, Tara replied. You are rather cranky when you're tired then I see. So goodnight Willow.''

" I'm not Cranky, I'm just a little stressed what with the end of the world an' all, So yes goodnight.'' Willow shot back at the blonde.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile in Angels cabin something strange was happening well I'll shut up about it and show you.

Angel had retired to his cabin earlier than the others. He had his reasons for doing so, he had not been feeling well ever since the cruise ship band did the last chorus of YMCA. Angel just new something bad was going to happen he feel it in his bones. Then the pains ripped through him like a really big chopping knife tearing his body inside out. White hot shot to all his nerve endings ''Aah,oh God, well..one things...for sure,ah. it wasn't that bean dip.'' he joked to himself before he blacked out. Oddly enough strange sounds came out of his cabin all night long and strobe lights were seen leaking out from underneath the door. Disco music was also heard. When Angel awoke the next morning he was wearing eye shadow in a flourescent shade of blue and a pink feather scarf around his neck,shirtless and completely hungover.

Whenever this happened at home all Buffy would do when he asked his wife about it. Was laugh to no end and tell him when the time was right he'd find out because she took pictures.

_____________________________________________________

Willow and Tara having shared the same cabin for Willows 'protection' awoke in an awkward state with Willow on her back and Tara's leg wrapped around her lower body and her right arm draped over the red heads stomach with their heads nuzzling each other. Only one word could be used to describe their emotions when they woke up, not cute,adorable,Loved or well maybe horny nope it was AWKWARD! they both immediately wnet wide eyed and seperated their entangled limbs from one another. Quickly turning their backs to let one another the oppurtunity to get dressed and fast. Then they headed to the main deck. Without saying a word to one another the whole time, Well that is to say not until they saw what was going on above.

The sky was blackened still and the clouds had gathered in the strangest pattern moving like a funnel but never touching the ground. Thunder clashed with the sound of lightening and then. Willow looked down and saw the water. It was ''Blood!, Tara shrieked before Willow could oh my godess I think I may lose my lunch.''

" Aww, poor baby.'' Willow soothed and rubbed the blonde guardian's shoulder without thinking.

" Oh, man theres some weird shit goin' on here.'' Angel said walking up to the two women.


End file.
